Does your Discomfort bring others Comfort?

Have you ever found yourself being uncomfortable to make sure others are comfortable? You may think of it as being nice to others. Allowing others to get their way, enjoy what they want. While your needs are not being met. This could be something simple like going to restaurant others like even though you don’t. Layering up in extra clothes to keep warm while someone else enjoys it cooler in a home. But what happens when you do this all the time? When you put your needs, opinion or wants to the side to allow others to receive what they want. There are many people that do this on a regular basis. Many might not even know how much they do it. And others may be discovering why they over give and what needs to start changing. Are you learning the difference between being nice and playing small? Is it time to stop being uncomfortable to make others comfortable?

For many empaths and highly sensitive people it is hard not to notice the needs of others. You may feel selfish speaking up about your needs, you may always focus on others and what they want. You may be an over giver, fixer, or doer for everyone but yourself. You may have been shamed or guilted in the past for doing well or shining brightly. You may even have been manipulated in close relationships to keep others comfortable. Many of you are going through a big awareness of just how uncomfortable you have been for so long. You may be tired of always focusing on other’s needs. You may be done with over giving and finally ready to start receiving. You may have held back doing well in areas of your life or achievement to keep close relationships comfortable.

There have been huge energy shifts lately that are helping people find more balance in their lives. And if you have been quietly uncomfortable keeping the peace, let others shine, make others happy, that time is coming to an end. It is time for you to be comfortable. To choose what you want, shine as bright as you want, and be ok if others are uncomfortable with you. Most emotionally healthy people want to see others succeed and do well in life. They want to be supportive and see others make choices that benefit them. But when we are around emotionally unhealthy people that is not always the case. If someone is insecure about themselves, it would be hard to be around people achieving and doing well in life. They would feel like a big spotlight was shining on all the things they were not happy with themselves. Because of this, emotionally unhealthy people might try and hold your energy to a certain level that is comfortable for them to be around. And you may have been trained that you need to be at that level to be accepted or loved by them.

It is hard to think that someone would not want others to do well, achieve or be happy. But when someone is emotionally unhealthy, they need to find a way to regulate others around them to feel comfortable. You may have had a manager or co-worker that is never happy with what you do. It is never enough, or there is always something more to achieve. You may try and try to achieve more, be better but it never ends. Why? Because it has nothing to do with you and all about their uncomfortableness with you. So, they need to drop your energy, make you feel more acceptable to them. The same thing can happen with family, or any close relationship. If an emotionally unhealthy person is in your life, they will try to make you feel more comfortable to them. They may withhold their love or acceptance if you do not comply to a certain level of energy. But in turn you may feel like you are not enough, have done something wrong. And over time you continue to adjust to their needs by being uncomfortable.

It’s time for you to be comfortable in your life. You do not have to hold back who you truly are to make others feel good. You are not being selfish for living your life how you want to. But to do this it is important to understand the difference between emotionally healthy and unhealthy people. Is someone asking you to be uncomfortable most of the time to be loved and accepted? Or do they let you shine and support you, or accept you as you are? Find people that resonate with your energy at the level where you are comfortable. And let go of trying to make others comfortable by being uncomfortable.