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Victim Energy

An important thing to understand when you are doing your own healing or transformation work, is victim energy. Understanding it to identify in yourself and others. A Victim is defined as someone who is harmed or made to suffer under a circumstance or condition. Being harmed can be physical, emotional, or energetic. The circumstances could be in a home, relationship, job, social or more. There are varying degrees to which a person can be a victim. A physical abuse or harm is easier to identify. A financial harm can also be documented and proven. But an emotional harm or energetic harm is not as easy to define and open to interpretation. What I am focusing on here is the energetic harm. How a person may be harmed by someone else taking their energy. And by a person identifying as a victim to take others energy. So how can we identify this behavior and protect our energy from those that use the identity of victim to take energy from others?


Do you have those people in your life that always seem to have something wrong? Nothing ever works for them. They are always having problems with co-workers, family members, and friends. Even when they run a simple errand it has a long story of how they were wronged, or it didn’t go well. You guessed it this is a person with victim energy. These are the people that seem to have the same things happen time and time again. Nothing seems to fix things. And likely they don’t want to hear your solutions or offer to help fix things. They want to be a victim. Why? Because they receive energy from others that listen to their stories. That show them empathy, care, or concern. They receive attention this way. It’s hard to think someone would want to always deal with the same problems and issues. But some are so comfortable because they know they can get energy from others this way.


Unfortunately, we are seeing more of this behavior in the world today because society is more heightened to support it. Don’t get me wrong there are true victims in the world and bad things do happen. What I am talking about is the people that are chronic victims, do not want solutions and want to receive energy from others. These are the people you talk to for a short time and walk away feeling so drained. If you are a people pleaser, empath, or fixer you are likely drawn to them. Trying to solve their issue and offer solutions. Listening to them time and time again with the next situation that is wrong in their life. But it never changes. Just repeats with a new topic. They may focus on a family member that is wronged them one week and the next is a co-worker that did them wrong. Then it might be a romantic relationship and next a friend. But the person seems like they are never happy. It can be exhausting to be around a person that is in this victim energy.


If you have someone in your life with victim energy it might be time to put up boundaries or let them go. Notice the signs - the same issues over and over, never taking ownership for their actions, blaming people outside of them, or never trying to resolve or change. Are you a battery for them by listening? Are they draining your energy? Do you feel bad if you don’t listen or help them? Do they manipulate, shame, or guilt you when you don’t give them your energy? These relationships can be frustrating and never ending. But you might be at a point that you can no longer provide them with the energy you once did.


Take the time to identify victim energy in your life. It can be a person, a job or company, an organization or group. Do you feel drained being around them or in the environment? Have they come to you with the same issue three times or more without a solution? What have they done to resolve a problem? Do they take accountability for their actions? Start to put the responsibility on the person or situation to resolve their issue. You can have compassion and care or offer advice but don’t do their work for them. Walk away or change the subject when they keep talking about the same issue over and over.  Are they respecting your time and energy? If not it’s time to remove your energy, say no, and push back responsibility on them. You are not being mean by protecting your energy. You are not uncaring by not participating in a social cause. You are identifying what is healthy for your energy and setting the appropriate boundaries. Start looking at victim energy that is affecting your life, make the changes and see how much healthier your life can be.

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