• Kristine Joy

Find Happiness

Sometimes finding happiness can feel like a treasure hunt. Is it over there? Under that rock, in another city, at a different job, in a different relationship. You may find yourself always looking for the elusive happiness that everyone speaks about or claims to have in abundance. But what really is happiness? Who defines what it is and how it can be achieved? When we search outside of ourselves for happiness, chances are we will never find it or feel satisfied. Because we are always trying to find something far off, or something that works for others but maybe not for ourselves. So how can you start understanding what true happiness is? How can you re-define happiness for yourself and see it as something you already have or that is truly achievable?


First what is happiness? It is defined as the state of being happy. Ok then what is happy? Happy is feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. When you think about it when was the last time you can honestly say you were happy? Having that wonderful sense of contentment with where you are and what you are doing. Enjoying life to the fullest and feeling really good. Chances are like most people it might have been a while or not often enough. So why is this? Why is it so hard to be happy? First you need to define what happiness means to you. What is your definition of permission or validation of when you can truly feel happiness? This might seem like an obvious question but take some time with it. Really examine your life to see when you allow yourself to be happy.


If you do not have a good definition of happiness, then you are always looking outside yourself to tell you what it is. Are you looking to friends or family? Are you influenced by television or advertisements? Are you looking at social media and comparing yourself to others? All of these things can seem like normal places to look but they can actually be very damaging and confusing. Mostly because it is an illusion. Most people are not as happy as they say. Buying material things or having more can give temporary happiness but it might also come with a price. You end up trying to live up to something or a perceived value or status but is this achievable in the long run? Are you putting so much time, energy, and resources into “being” happy that you end up miserable and feeling less than? Are you setting yourself up for failure by trying to achieve the dream we are all taught – money, success, perfect body, perfect relationship, flawless life? All of those things take a lot of energy to achieve and maintain but do they truly bring happiness or is it actually acceptance?


Make a list of the things that truly bring you happiness in life. Are these things you need to earn? Or are these things you can easily be and receive? Are these things you want or are these things others expect or want for you? Are you comfortable determining what is right for you and ok with it being wrong for others? Start with small things. What do you do with your free time? What is a meal that makes you happy? What do you love doing with others? Not what others want to do but what you truly love doing. What makes you smile? What brings that lightness to your heart? Start to learn who you truly are and what you really love in life and that is how you define happiness.


Once you have your definition of happiness you can start to create more in your life. Decide where you want to spend your time, money, and resources. Decide what energies you want to be around and allow into your life. Understand that you have the power to choose to bring happiness into your life everyday. You can choose happiness. You can create it everyday and receive it from so many places. But you needed to define what that truly means to you.


So is happiness really that hard to find? Not when you know what it looks like and where to get or create it. You can stop the endless search for happiness and start to enjoy it. You will no longer seek others to define it for you. You will not feel pressured with a false definition of happiness. You will be content with your choices and enjoy the life you are creating. Find your definition of happiness and start creating the life you always wanted! No more waiting, choose happiness today!

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