Are you feeling the strong need to speak your truth or stand up for yourself?! Are you getting tired of how things never change, and it seems no one realizes how much you do? In the past you could filter what you say or hold back your emotions but not anymore! If so, you are experiencing a significant shift in your energy and can no longer ignore your own needs. Congratulations you are finally becoming your own energy advocate!
This has been showing up for a lot of my clients in their sessions. Especially for the Empaths and People Pleasers. Are you the type of person that is always putting others needs before your own? Holding back your true emotions to please a situation or person? You may be hyper aware of other people’s feelings and make plans to try to control their reactions or keep a situation from “blowing up”. If so, your energy is unbalanced, and you have more going out than you are receiving. If you stop and think about how much energy you are putting into everyone around you it can be eye opening. Look at your day and what you do. Now think about how much time and energy you give to yourself or that you receive from others. If you would create a pie chart of where your energy goes in a day you may have a sliver for yourself and the rest goes to everyone around you.
This is a very unhealthy way to manage your energy. You are giving an unbalanced portion/importance to those around you while giving very little or none for yourself. Chances are you are an extremely strong person that can do it all, take on more and never complain. But we ALL have a breaking point. A time when we can no longer take on one more thing for others. You start to feel upset, tired, unhappy and even resentful. Does anyone see you are drowning? Or do they throw you an anvil and ask you to hold it for them while you’re doing everything just to stay afloat?
As much as we would like to point the finger and say it is others that are not helping us, we need to take responsibility. Why would you even offer to catch the anvil if you are drowning? Chances are you grew up in an environment where you were always the one to help out, please others, help resolve problems. You may have had co-dependent relationships that taught you to put others before you. You may have learned that love is defined by giving or doing for others first. As you grew older you may have drawn more of this into your life. You may have taken jobs where you need to please others, or be in relationships where it is all about giving or helping someone else. Your belief system defined love as giving to others even at the cost of your own needs.
So why does this no longer feel good to you? Why are you irritated, bored and upset by the same people asking so much of you? Because you have finally got to the end of what you consider rational in your belief system. You have given and tried so much and nothing is ever good enough or finished. You have been drawing in people and situations that will always take as much as you're willing to give. But you have finally hit the point of seeing it as ridiculous or unreasonable. That is what is finally allowing you to break down your old belief system. It just doesn’t work anymore. You realize your needs are important and question why no one else can see it. You are finally speaking up for yourself and believing you are just as important as everyone around you.
Congratulations you are changing your belief system and being your own Energy Advocate! Yes it is not an easy process and it is really confusing and hard. But if it was easy you would have done it a long time ago. Give yourself credit for questioning your old beliefs, for looking at things differently. You are in the processes of healing and that is a good thing. You are seeing that you are just as important and deserve love and respect as much as anyone around you. You are deciding to change your belief system and as you do you start to heal and change.
You will start to set up healthy boundaries and learn not to overextend yourself to others. You start to say no to things you don’t want to do without being triggered with shame and guilt. You don’t filter what you say based on how others will react. And you are doing all of this with respect to yourself and the people around you.
Saying no to others is not being mean or hurtful. It is respecting your needs and being honest without the intent of hurting others. Granted a lot of the people in your life may not like this change and may not react well. But we need to allow people the opportunity to adjust to the new you. It is their choice if they can respect your new boundaries or if they will choose to find others to support their energy needs.
Follow what you are feeling and be honest with yourself. What are your needs, what is best for you and what do you really want to choose? Do this from a place of love and respect for yourself and those around you. Always look at what your intention is and know that people always have the choice of how to react. You do not cause anything to happen to others, good or bad. Be strong and allow yourself to continue to grow. Be your own Energy Advocate! You will create a happier life that will flow better and imagine all of the energy you will have!