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  • Kristine Joy

You are ok – Managing Self-doubt

Self-doubt is something all of us experience at one time or another. But how do we pick ourselves up during the tough times? Let’s be honest we all have them. Those moments you might doubt what your doing or the direction your taking or even having faith in yourself. We are all strong amazing positive people, but everyone has a moment when self-doubt or negative feelings start to come in. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Whenever we go through change and grow, we are going to have the ups and downs. The days we believe we can do it all and there is no stopping us. And then the days when we think we are crazy for trying or we are not capable.


This is all part of the process of change and growing. We are always going to have that little voice in our heads questioning what we are doing or the choices we are making. Are you sure you want to? Remember what happened last time? Why do you think you are qualified? These are all-natural thoughts to have and it doesn’t mean they are true. It means these are fears that are coming out that we need to take the time to face.


So as much as we want to live on the high side of the wave, we also need to spend some time in the trough. One is not better or worse, both are equally important to experience. We need to honor that time when we aren’t feeling our best and when doubt creeps in. Take time to speak kindly to yourself, not put as much on your schedule and rest. Take the time you need to process these thoughts and feelings. These need to be addressed and dealt with not pushed aside and ignored. The sooner you look at these thoughts the sooner you can heal, grow and expand.


Anytime we grow and enter an unknown time or space we have no reference to what it will be. It is something new. Because of this we may project what will happen or imagine what it will be like. We can either picture something wonderful, fun and successful or something scary, uncertain and doomed to fail. Whatever we project is the energy we are now sitting in. If we are sitting in the scary and uncertain energy, then we need to take the time to address those feelings. Why do we feel this way? Why are we assuming something bad might happen? And then question those feelings…what is the worst that could happen if I failed? I might feel bad, I might need to start over, people will judge me, I might get hurt. Now look at those fears and break them down even more. You might feel bad, but it will likely pass just like experiences in the past. If you fail, you might need to start all over with something new, but you have likely done this many times and are still ok. What if people judge me? Let’s be honest when don’t people judge each other? But are you going to let someone else’s opinion stop you? I might get hurt…yes you might but again you will likely be fine.


Having fears, doubts and negative feelings do not mean you are regressing or failing. It means you are pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and these are natural feelings that get triggered. Don’t make yourself feel bad for having these feelings. Have compassion and kindness for yourself and know that you are ok.


Sometimes in those moments the best we can say to ourselves is I am ok. Not pretending things are better than they are but know that you are ok and will get through these feelings. It is a natural healing process. The more you face the fears and doubts and work through them the faster you will heal and push forward.


When you have moments of self-doubt remind yourself you are ok. Know that it is happening because you are pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. You are growing and expanding. Be proud of that! It’s not an easy process to do! Who wouldn’t have that little voice doubting things? Be kind to yourself and process the fears, address them and break them down. Then you will be able to move forward toward the goal you are stretching yourself towards. Remember you are ok, be proud of being brave and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to grow!


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