Mirroring is when someone projects qualities or actions of yourself back to you. It can be emotional responses, physical movements, interest and hobbies. To even physical mirroring of similar hairstyle, clothing, type of car and more. People do it for all kinds of reasons. They may admire you in some way and try and replicate traits. They may want your attention or affection and show how similar you are. Or they may want to fit in and adjust to the energy of other people. There are also those that mirror you to draw you in or even love bomb you, mostly done by people with narcissistic traits. Or they may mirror negative traits to point out your flaws, lower your energy or try to manipulate and control you. Mirroring happens all the time and you may be mirroring others around you without even knowing it. So how can we understand the energy of mirroring better? How can we tell what is being reflected at us is truly real or distorted like a fun house mirror?
Most of you reading this have a high level of empathy. If so, you may often look to see how people mirror back your energy? Is it a good reflection, are they happy with my energy, do I need to adjust and make changes? Constantly looking for what is coming back or mirrored to you and ready to adjust to be pleasing. Because of this it may be hard to understand your own energy because it is always an interpretation of what other people see or want you to believe they see. Do you ever notice when you go to a store to try on clothes that the mirrors at one store look different than another? You may even have a favorite store that you look great in trying on clothes. And another that highlights all your insecurities. You have the same energy and physical appearance, but the mirror reflects your image in different ways. This is the same for people. Each person is a different mirror. Each person will reflect your energy back to you differently.
You may notice that your family, friend or partner might say you’re difficult, hard to be around, and always overreacting. But then you might be around other people that see you as giving, kind, compassionate and patient. You are still the same person, but different people can bring out different energy and reflect that back to you. Some may poke at you until you can’t take it anymore and you react. Then they may mirror back the negative way you handled it. Others give you love and enjoy your company and can mirror that back to you. Again, you are still the same person so why is there such a different response from different people? And that is where we need to know not all mirrors are the same. Some are the funhouse mirrors that can distort and change our image. To the point we don’t even recognize ourselves. This can be confusing when you are highly empathic and seek validation from others. It can give you a false sense of yourself and you can carry that image with you through future relationships.
So how can we see a better image of ourselves if we are around those that mirror back a distorted view. First it is important to know that others cannot define you. Be aware if you are giving that power to people to judge, criticize, manipulate or control you. If you are around people that only see your faults, take a hard look at them. Are they happy with themselves? Do they treat others that way? Do they have narcissistic traits? If so, take steps to set up strong boundaries or remove their energy from your life. Second learn to love yourself. See all the wonderful qualities you possess. See yourself from loving eyes. Know your own energy so if a distorted mirror is reflecting to you, it can easily be recognized. You’ll know the mirror is warped not you. Third notice what people are choosing to reflect on you and why. This gives you a better understanding of people you are interacting with instead of taking on full responsibility to make others happy or like you. Be prepared when you start looking at relationships and how and what they mirror back to you. It can be eye opening to see if people who pointed out flaws in you are the ones that may need to address their own issues.
Get to know your own energy. If you have had negative or warped mirrors most of your life, look for higher quality mirrors. Start taking positive reflections in and giving them more value. Stop giving power to the warped mirrored people that have been in your life. Whether it is jobs, relationships, friendships, family or even strangers. Don’t automatically internalize a negative reflection coming back to you. Stop and analyze the mirror it’s coming from. Is it a healthy mirror that can give you a loving reflection, or is it a warped fun house mirror that distorts and manipulates you? Start seeing the true and beautiful you. The more you do the more healthy mirrored people and situations will come into your life.