• Kristine Joy

Energetic Approval

Approval is something most people strive and yearn for. Approval is often associated with love and acceptance. If they approve me, I feel loved, I belong, I know I am right. Approval is usually something outside of us that we seek. Through a person, organization, culture, society, schooling, or work. Quite simply seeking approval is giving our energetic power to someone or something else. This is engrained in us from little on. If we behave correctly our parents will love us. If we do good in school and work, we will succeed. If I wear the right clothes people will admire me. If I have the right relationship my family will approve. And on and on and on it goes. It is an endless lifetime of looking outside ourselves to know if we are doing the right thing, if people accept and love you, and if you meet the requirements of others. It can be an exhausting cycle of trying to prove your worth or value to others. And all the time you are never truly sure if what you think, believe or feel is “right” in the eyes of others. So how can we start to get back into our own energy? How can we start to give ourselves approval instead of looking outside ourselves? How can we start living an easier life that doesn’t require energetic approval?


Let’s face it, we all just want to be loved and accepted. It is a basic need that we all desire. But because of this we do not realize just how much we bend and manipulate our own energy to receive the approval from others. Are we not being our true selves in order to be loved in a romantic relationship? Are we seeking approval from a group of friends we want to be a part of? Do we make decisions based on the approval of family in order to receive love? Do we not speak up at work when we clearly have a different opinion than the one being presented? It is hard to be a true individual in this world. Group think has also become so common that it can feel like being unique or individualistic to be a part of it. But what we are actually doing is following a thought or belief to gain the approval, love and acceptance of others. Many new movements or organizations can draw people in because they want to feel like they are doing the “right” thing. They want to be viewed as supporting the new “right” cause. Strongly driven to be part of the love and accepted group energy. Because of this it can feel wrong, isolating and unloving to have a different opinion, view point, thought or reaction. So how much do we hide our true thoughts for the exchange of receiving approval? Unfortunately, more than we probably realize.


One of the biggest lessons we can learn is that there is truly no ultimate right or wrong. Yes, individuals decide on what is right or wrong for them. But no one can ultimately declare what is right or wrong on mass. Because of this we are free to decide what is best for us. Understand that we are loved just as we are. Decide that you know what is best for your life. And also know that others have those exact same rights for themselves. That is what makes us truly individuals and uniquely special. That means that we do not have to prove anything, that we do not have to earn love, that we do not have to look outside of us for approval and acceptance. If you’re not someone’s cup of tea – no problem. Find people that accept and love you as you are and do not ask you to change your energy, thoughts, behaviors, and opinions. Respect yourself enough to demand others to respect your unique energy as well.


When we truly love ourselves as we are we can find peace. We no longer need to seek approval outside of ourselves. We don’t look for others to tell us if we are doing the right thing, thinking the right way or matching their energetic requirements. When we love ourselves we are truly free. And not only free for ourselves but also free for others. When you love and accept yourself as you are you do not find the need to judge others, expect them to change, or have issue with other viewpoints or opinions. You love and accept yourself, so you share that energy with other people. You are not looking for someone to agree with you to prove you are right and get validation and approval. You do not fear different opinions or fight to change them to prove that you are right. All of that is done to get outside validation that you are ok, right, loved and approved. But when you truly love yourself other opinions and thoughts do not bother you. You simply can listen or not and not feel the need to change the other person.


Energetic approval is such a powerful driving force in our lives. It has so much control because it directly affects one of our basic needs – love. But once you realize that no one has the power to take love away from you or tell you when you are worthy to receive it. Once you realize you only need your own approval, you will finally feel the freedom and love you have been seeking this whole time. You will finally feel peace, comfort and happiness. Take back control of your life. Remove control from other people, organizations, and influences outside of yourself. Learn that you are the only one that can give yourself true energetic approval and choose to give yourself unconditional love today and every day!


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