Bad Behavior

For many the concept of bad behavior seems pretty straight forward. It seems like it should be easy to identify. Normally starting in childhood, you are taught the basics of how to treat people with respect, be kind, follow the rules and on and on. But over the years bad behavior has become more difficult to identify or call out. Bad behavior has been glorified or justified. And for many that use bad behavior to get ahead, manipulate and take advantage of others, it has been easy in this environment. And for those that are sensitive, over givers or empathic, bad behavior has become more difficult to identify, call out and protect themselves from. So how can you identify bad behavior and how can you feel justified in creating healthy boundaries or trusting how you are affected?

Many of my earlier jobs in life were customer service focused. Starting from working in a restaurant to customer service and sales positions. The one thing I loved is that all these workplaces supported their employees. Bad behavior from customers was not tolerated. You had the right to refuse service. The customer wasn’t always right. But that was at a time when bad behavior was looked down on. When social media wasn’t as prevalent. When a single bad review couldn’t go viral and control the response of a business. It was more balanced. But unfortunately, now the bad behavior people seem to thrive in getting their way. Breaking the rules, doing what they want and disrespecting business, employees and other customers. One bad review and the management needs to cave. One bad review can hurt or close a small business. One bad review can be a smear campaign. 

But this doesn’t just happen in businesses. It happens in your daily life. A friend, relative or co-worker may be manipulating people’s opinions of you to others. Someone may use guilt or shame to get what they want. Some may try to control outcomes by knowing what buttons to push in someone. Others throw a fit, complain or scream until they get their outcome. Bad behavior can be cheered on by others because they are just so “justified” in how they feel. Not realizing the very actions of their bad behavior can be worse than what they are against. Emotional immature or over reactive people use bad behavior to get what they want. Stand and scream until they get their way. And if it is not accepted, use social media, post something, shame and guilt someone. This is bad behavior that has been tolerated and glorified over the last few years.

The good news is that people are hitting their breaking point. Bad behavior can only be tolerated for so long. If every business caves to one screaming customer, there will be no more business. If people break the rules and disrespect in public events, there will be no more events. It is not worth or sometimes possible to deal with bad behavior. So, you might notice more people pushing back. Businesses no longer want to cater to bad behavior. Friendships, relatives and other relationships may not last if bad behavior continues. So how do you want to handle bad behavior from others? Do you call it out? Do you stand up for others? Do you create boundaries and change who is allowed in your life?

The only way to stop bad behavior is to stop allowing it to control you. Know that you will always have someone that doesn’t like a business. Know that you will never be able to please everyone. Know that your health and wellbeing are more important than tolerating bad behavior. You can’t stop people from choosing to act this way. But you can choose how to respond. How you choose to act. You can choose to give support to someone when you see bad behavior. If you witness someone being rude to a waitress, tell that waitress you see them. You support them. You don’t have to confront the person with bad behavior. Instead, choose love, kindness and support. Write a positive review of that business you love. Tell a friend you see how badly someone treated them and it’s not right. Show respect to someone that has dedicated their life to serving the public and are doing it well.

Stop accepting bad behavior in your life. Allow others to have a fit, tell false stories about you, or write a bad review. Because in the long run bad behavior will no longer be tolerated. Many are now seeing through it. It is getting harder for those that use bad behavior to hide it. Stop rewarding or tolerating bad behavior. Instead share love and support with those that need it. Tell that teenager having their first week at the job they are doing a great. Show appreciation for kindness from friends and family. Tell a teacher how much you appreciate what they do. We have had a pollution of bad behavior and it’s time for the cleanup. How will you choose to participate in changing how bad behavior is tolerated and how will you start contributing good behavior in the world?